013: Ordinary special

flowers from someone's garden when we out on a walk last week

Everybody wants that special day to be memorable in a nice way. That kind of propaganda you are fed with. On birthdays, a birthday cake with candles, a birthday song surrounded by family and friends who love you to death, tons of presents. On Valentine's day, a bouquet of roses for the girl, a night at fancy restaurant, girl all dressed up and the guy in a suit, the candlelight dinner.

Most of the time those things don't happen to me. A birthday cake with candles; I've done that. I'm no happier than before the cake and candles blown out. Yeah ok… I'm older, thanks for the reminder, let's move on, shall we. I've had a ex-roommate for her, the birthday was EVERYTHING. She had to have the friends, the cake, people wishing on the right day (not the day before… an italian superstition). She was shocked that Roby didn't come to celebrate with me in Milan and I was not upset about it.

On past valentine's days I only remembered expecting something and being completely let down. I spent alone waiting for my then boyfriend to come. A lot of bad memories there. On special days supermarkets here in Verona don't do their usual hours and only open in the morning. Which is inconvenient.

The stress created by expectations far outweighs the enjoyment of that day. Let's take Chinese New Year. Back in the day, it was celebrated in a big way. My grandma would make a ton of food. She would get an asthma attack as a result. Of course extra yelling for not showing up on time at 11am for lunch. Granted I do remember most of it fondly. But I still don't like Chinese New Year.

There was once when I was in Oslo for a friend's Christmas celebration. It was quite nice as an outsider. But in the end, it was their version of the Chinese New Year, with different decorations. Family get together, then the usual questioning happens. Do you have a job? Are you making enough money? Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? etc. Nice in some sense when family gather, but stressful in other ways too.

I'm not saying don't celebrate birthdays, christmas or chinese new year. My point is the other 364 days could be as special if you make it so. Ordinary days have their own value. Not that everyday is a sunday. We know that. We all have our responsibilities; school work, work, chores. There are moments in day that is just perfect. It happens to all of us ALL of the time. You have open your eye and recognise it.

Easter monday, Roby woke up way too late for easter brunch. We decided to go a sagra (a local food festival; just another excuse to eat). Spillo freaked out at the crowd and started barking at kids. It was high tension until some time after we found a seat. That was stressful.

Last sunday was a no occasion sunday. The sun was up in the morning and flooded the kitchen with light. Roby woke up by himself (thank you) and took spillo for spin on bicycle. Finally so finally some peace at home by myself to do the housework. Yes that was a perfect day when nothing special happened.

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